Has anyone looked at you and called you a pain? If you’re like me, you’ve been called worse. Yet that doesn’t stop the words from cutting into your heart, especially if you hear them over and over again.

After hearing the same words over and over again they begin to sink in and shape how we see ourselves. It can even shape how we act and how we expect others to act toward us.

But what if your mom named you “he will cause pain” or “he causes pain”? That is exactly what the mother of Jabez did. We can read about it in a very short story in 1 Chronicles 4:9:

9 Jabez was more honorable than his brothers, and his mother named him Jabez saying, “Because I bore him with pain.”

“Thanks, mom, I am glad that you remind me every time I hear my name that I caused you pain.” After all, it’s not like he did it on purpose. He was a baby being born. He didn’t hurt her on purpose. Yet he was to be reminded of it for the rest of his life.

When Those Who Should Bless You Don’t

Parents are supposed to be a blessing to their children. They should cherish them, nurture them. Help them grow in the wisdom and knowledge of the Lord. They should be there to support them, encourage them, help them navigate life, and help them to enter into the plan of God for their life.

I don’t want to make a bigger deal out of this verse than I should. I have no information on how they treated Jabez after he was born. The family could have been great and very supportive. Yet I have lived enough life to know that there are many families that are very lacking in the area of blessing and encouragement.

I used to have a neighbor that cussed her kids out and told them how stupid and useless they were. The grandpa used to tell the kids that they better behave or they might cause him to have a heart attack and kill him. This is just the tip of the iceberg, but you get the idea.

We called Protective family services many times for the things we heard and saw. This family was definitely not blessing the children as they should be blessed. They were speaking death and constantly berating them on a daily basis.

No one should be treated in such a manner. No one should have to endure constant verbal abuse and put-downs. No one.

Jabez Sought God’s Blessing

There are a couple of things that I like about Jabez. First, he was more honorable than his brothers. He did not let his name define who he was. He definitely chose a life that would not cause pain.

How easy it is to let the words of others define who we are. It is important to choose who we listen to. Will I listen to those who deride me or will I choose to listen to what God says? That is what Jabez did.

Second, Jabez sought out a blessing from God. This is encouraging to know that we can ask the God who created us to bless us. He knows who we are. He knows our call and purpose in life. He knows what He has for us better than anyone on the face of the earth.

10 Now Jabez called on the God of Israel, saying, “Oh that You would bless me indeed and enlarge my border, and that Your hand might be with me, and that You would keep me from harm that it may not pain me!” And God granted him what he requested. (1 Chronicles 4:10)

In seeking God Jabez asked for four things. I think these are four things we can ask for ourselves.

Bless Me

Jabez didn’t mess around. He went directly to the source of all blessings. He didn’t ask any human to bless him, he asked God.

A couple of posts ago, I wrote about how God spoke to Aaron and his sons and told them to speak a blessing over the children of Israel every single day of the year at the evening sacrifice. His desire to bless His children is evident in His command for this to be done.

Aaron and the rest of the priests were to invoke God’s name. They were to call upon God to bless the children of Israel without ceasing.

This morning I read Psalm 103 over my wife, Suzette. Here is the portion I want us to focus on.

1 Bless the Lord, O my soul,
And all that is within me, bless His holy name.
2 Bless the Lord, O my soul,
And forget none of His benefits;
3 Who pardons all your iniquities,
Who heals all your diseases;
4 Who redeems your life from the pit,
Who crowns you with lovingkindness and compassion;
5 Who satisfies your years with good things,
So that your youth is renewed like the eagle. (Psalm 103:1-5)

David is reminding himself to “forget none of his benefits.” God has benefits available to us through the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ. We have even more blessing available than David did and we can get them by calling out to the Lord and asking Him to bless us.

Enlarge my Border

A major promise of God to the Israelites was the possession of the Promised Land. The land was clearly marked out by tribe. The problem was that there were enemies in the land that needed to be cleared out.

Jabez was asking God to enlarge his borders and help him possess all of the land that was promised to him. He wanted everything that God had for him and nothing less. After all the land was his inheritance and part of the inheritance he would hand down to his children.

It is never selfish to seek to have everything that God has made available to us in Christ. It is part of our inheritance. It would be like your father dying and leaving you an inheritance, but you don’t want to touch a certain portion of the inheritance so you don’t look greedy.

We can see how silly that idea sounds, but then we can do the same thing by not feeling like we deserve what God has given to us. We struggle with going after all the blessings available because it will make us somehow look greedy.

A personal application of our borders is the calling in our lives. God speaks and calls us to step into the destiny He has for us. We think, “Who do I think I am putting myself in this position?” When in fact, God has called you to it.

Rise up and take your place. Ask God for every inch of the land He has promised to you. Part of that comes by stepping out in faith and believing what God has spoken.

That Your Hand Might Be With Me

I love this one. He wants God’s presence and power to be with Him. He didn’t want to take the land without having the presence of God going with him.

It reminds me of the time when God told Moses He would not go with the children of Israel into the Promised Land, but in His place, He would send an angel. Moses told God that if He did not go with them, he wouldn’t go.

Moses knew that the presence of the Lord is the most important part of the promise. A promise apart from God is not worth pursuing.

He wanted God’s presence in His life and nothing else would do. I would say that God was the focal point of Jabez’ life. Maybe that is why God decided to mention him in these two verses.

That You Would Keep Me From Harm

Jabez not only wanted God to bless him and help him to expand into the full promise of God for his life, he also refused to go ahead without the presence of God and His protection. He knew that things would be tough and there would be dangers ahead. There always is when we enter into warfare to destroy the enemy in our land.

I’m not sure why God has decided to do it the way He has, but He wants us to rise up in faith and force the enemy out of the land. It reminds me of God speaking to Joshua and telling him that God had given him every place he would set his foot.

There were massive cities and many a giant to fight in the land. In Joshua chapter 1, God told Joshua to be bold and courageous a number of times. It would take faith to step out to battle against the evil forces in the land and take it. Wherever Joshua was willing to go, that is the land he would possess.

I think the same holds true for us today. As I was typing the paragraph above I thought of the command God gave to Adam. He said to go into all the world and subdue it. There are many enemies that are standing in the way of our inheritance. The question is, will we rise up in faith and place our foot upon the land and take it for our own?

The best part of the story is that God granted what Jabez requested.

Go Ahead and Bless Yourself

If you’re feeling like there is no one around that is blessing you, don’t despair. Ask the Lord to bless you, because He will. Don’t sit around waiting for someone to bless you. Go to the source and ask Him to do it for you.

He wants to bless you. He’s proven it over and over again. Now is the time. Seize the moment. Ask God to bless you, expand your territory, to be with you, and to protect you. I think you’ll be glad you did.

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